Someone told me I'm not gonna make it in Africa because there aren't any social programs in place. Very big lol. I mentioned that I think a lot of the problem with America is that we have so many social programs in place. Being poor isn't easy anywhere in the world. It's also a bold assumption that I am in need of social programs. But you know, all Black Women are poor? This person, in the same conversation, went on and on about how beautiful the weather is, how amazing the people, childcare, culture, and the food are.....I'm like ???? Do you not hear yourself ? But, these are the avenues I value. I guess it's easy to disregard those things if your primary focus is money. To be fair, they also briefly mentioned a hard life leaving their country in Africa to get to America. To be even more fair, someone who doesn't want me to go sent this person to "talk" to me. I'm always eager to hear new perspectives about things from every angle. It's ho...
I was trying to work today but I am incredibly SAD. Like, straight up boo hoo crying sad to be completely honest. In my defense, my body is PMSing really hard. Like, I've been waiting for my uterus to do the drop for a few days now. But also, the video I recorded last night was very transparent and very heavy. I think about my daughter everyday and I pray that she one day can understand why I had to choose me in this season. A large portion of my identity is being a mother. I have been an incredible mother to her, quite literally almost exchanging my life for hers on more than one occasion. No one, including her, knows what I have survived on her behalf. I expected to break down and cry a Nile worth of tears when I first arrived. That never happened. I'm sure the overflow, the release that I am feeling now is a reflection of said anticipation. Everyday I send up prayers for her protection, for her forgiveness. Everyday, I get a little stronger. I am tired of being strong to be...
My first full week in Africa has been more liberating than my last year, at minimum, spent in America. I spent my Sunday morning doing dishes, laundry, and some work for BB. I vibed out to some Bob Marley and sent up some prayer. Our chef arrived for his first day with us and went to shop to make us lunch and dinner. The first meal he prepares for us will be pilau and salad. It will spend the rest of my Sunday relaxing and eating goodt. All praises to The Most High!